A woman who’s interested in being approached, for example, might signal the guy she’s attracted to with the classic “lock eyes, look away, look back” move.
But just as women tend to signal their interest with what’re known as “approach invitations”, they’ll also signal that they the same way.
There will always be exceptions to every rule and people who may be receptive to being approached under these circumstances.
Many people – myself included – have experiences where they have successfully gotten a number or a date or what-have-you from a bartender, a waitress, someone they met on the bus or the train. You can’t bank on people explicit indications that she’s interested in talking to you… It’s better to “miss out” on an opportunity than to end up being yet another warm body in the asshole conga-line of her day.
One of the worst possible places to approach women is on just about any form of public transit.
Now an obvious caveat: people are people and everyone sets their boundaries where they see fit.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who mistake professional niceness for genuine interest and assume that the waitress or the bartender is really into them.
Those cute designs in your latte foam are more about getting you to be a regular than sending you secret affogato-encoded love notes. Seriously; women in the service industry deal with guys who think that they are the Casanova she’s been dreaming of all these years.
All anyone on the Muni, the e L, the Yamanote line, the Underground, or any other form of mass transit wants to do is get through their commute with as minimal irritation as possible. In fact, for many women, mass transit is less of a convenient and economical way of getting from place to place and more of a gauntlet of horror, frustration and harassment that they must run on a daily basis… Almost every woman who’s ever had to take the bus or the subway or the train has had an experience of being harassed – ranging from guys who see nothing wrong with demanding a response from women who clearly want to be left alone to the incredibly dangerous.
This is the background radiation of her commute – never knowing if the guy who sits next to her or around her is going to just be annoying or if he’s going to jerk off in front of her.
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But just as important as it is to be willing to approach women you don’t know, it’s important to know when you approached.